Iniwan Mo Ako Sa Ere, Part 3

You stopped talking to me after we had sex. I guess you only wanted to have a one night stand with me. I guess you lied when you said you liked me. You lied when you said you wanted to love me and my faults. You lied when you said you will not reject my feelings for you because you’re not like that. You lied when you said that you have a word of honor.

You promised me things. I trusted you.

You said that you’re serious. And I believed you.

When I didn’t text you back the first time, you cared. You texted me. Ingat lage…. After that, I returned to my usual routine of texting you from time to time. You went back to not texting me back which was okay. I’ve already accepted it. You were never for me to begin with. Wala namang tayo.

I mustered the courage to finally say goodbye to you. It took a toll on me. Every time I thought of you, everything you said and promised to me kept coming back and I can’t help but feel sad about it. I got depressed. You’re just another person who broke my trust.

I always ride my bike to clear my mind. Because of you, I developed a habit of riding my bike at any time of the day. Minsan 9 pm. Minsan 1 am. Minsan 4 am. Kapag naaalala kita, I ride my bike para mailabas ko yung sama ng loob ko. I always look for you in the places na alam kong andun ka. I always go back to where you live but I don’t tell you. Hindi naman ako stalker. Gusto lang kitang makita. Gusto kong sa’yo mismo manggaling kung bakit mo ako niloko. Sabi mo kasi hindi mo ako lolokohin.

Pero ayoko na. What happened between us consumed me. I’m wasting my life away because of you. I need to move forward without you.

So I texted you. Hoping for you to not reply. I’m not ready for your answer kasi.

Hi, ____’to. Kumusta ka na? Siguro nagtataka ka kung bakit nagtetext pa rin ako kahit hindi ka na nagrereply. Rest assured, ito na siguro yung last. I don’t open up to people but I did to you kasi pakiramdam ko na you understand me. Everything I told you was true. Naniwala ako sa mga sinabi mo kahit hindi pa kita nakikita or nakakausap in person. Kahit may warnings na from my friends, naniwala pa rin ako kasi you have a way with words. Sanay na sanay ka na, hehehe. I’m happy na nakilala kita. You’re the only one I look forward to here in _____ these past few weeks. At ngayong wala na, I guess I’m leaving. Thank you kasi you gave me the courage to do what I was so afraid to do: ang umalis. Sorry kung para akong tanga kasi napakadramatic ko. Sorry kasi binigay ko yung trust ko to a random stranger. I’m sorry kasi I’m not good enough for you na kahit friendship eh parang ayaw mong ibigay sa akin. Sorry sa pang-aabala ko sa’yo pero this is the last time. IpiPM ko lang sana sa’yo ito pero hindi naman kita matyempuhan sa _____. Oo nga pala, I already deleted my account kung saan tayo nag-uusap dati. Good luck sa buhay! Mag-ingat ka lagi.

You replied. Kahit napakatanga lang ng answer mo, I accept it. I guess this is the closure I needed from you. Closure for me to get back on my feet and try again.

Hi… wala na ako sa _____.. uninstalled na… pasensya na sa lahat…. dami lang problema these past few days… if san ka man punta mag ingat din lage…

All I want to say is thank you. You made me happy for a brief period of time. I guess it’s the summer love I needed. I didn’t saw you coming but I’m glad you did. I’m happy I met you. I’m happy to know that I can love a person like that. Kung sa maling tao nga eh ganun, paano pa kaya kung sa tama at deserving na tao.

Matalino akong tao pero I accept na when it comes to love, ang tanga ko.

In hindsight, they say it’s always 20/20. I now believe that.

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