I would never forget that last month of 2014. I got sick. Really sick. It was the kind of sickness that I thought I would never get over with.
I thought I was going to die.
It happened a week before our preliminaries, and just after I presented our research for the Research Colloquium, Series 20. It was just any other day. Or so I thought.
I was still feeling okay as I was presenting the result of our research to my fellow teachers. I was still okay when I was eating lunch, and merienda that same day. I was okay when I listened attentively to the other researchers, and presenters. And then all of a sudden, I was not.
As I was going home that afternoon, out of nowhere, this weird feeling crept up on me. Suddenly, I was feeling under the weather. I felt my body became heavier than usual. I thought it was just a cold. Then the next day, it became a full blown influenza.
It was Saturday when it started. By Sunday it went worse. By Monday, since it’s a normal work day, I decided to go to work even though I still haven’t fully recovered yet. To make things worse, my classes for that day are all in air – conditioned rooms.
As I was teaching or administering quizzes, I felt chills. It was one of my worst days ever for me. As the day goes by, I felt my sickness getting worse. But I can’t skip classes because of the exams in the following week. One moment, I was okay then the next, I wasn’t. Every morning, my fever subsides but by evening, it comes back. I suffered for a week. Fever. Chills. I thought I had dengue.
Exam week came. I’m still unwell. The cycle of feverish nights and chilly days still occupies me. Then my body can’t handle it anymore. I was just glad that the exams are over.
I really needed a rest. One thing I am glad about though is what I have was not dengue fever. I guess the stress, being overworked, and measles piled on me, and forced me to take my needed rest.
But why did I even write this? It’s been months, even years. One thing that’s still with me after that health scare is that feeling that no one cared about me. I know that the world does not revolve around me but as I was going through the said ordeal, no one cared enough to ask me about how I’m doing. No messages asking about how I’m feeling, or if I’m recovering already? I’m not being overly dramatic about this or being an attention seeking douche, it’s just that no one was there for me that time.
And only now that I actually understood that no one is there for you except yourself. You’re on your own so learn to do things by yourself. You have friends but they have their own lives to live, too.
So learn to navigate this world with no one else to rely on to but yourself. It’s easier to accept that now than to learn it the hard way.