As I was listening to Lorde’s Supercut from her sophomore effort Melodrama, a certain couplet struck me: “In my head, I play a supercut of us / All the magic we gave off / All the love we had and lost.”
We’re all guilty of doing it, replaying everything like a movie reel. Every memory flashing before our very eyes, we relive them as if they just happened yesterday. Recounting every single detail to feel these experiences again, we try to feel them as if it’s the first time. Basking in the glory of our former selves, all of the things that gave us the rush, and all the trials things that made us who we are, we all go back to the past, to who we were. We all go back to the memories, to our former selves in a series of supercuts.
Bakit nga ba ang hilig nating bumalik sa nakaraan? Bakit nga ba ang sarap bumalik sa nakaraan? Bakit nga ba?
We all have a past. We all have our former selves. We have had relationships we left in the past. We have had memories, may it be good or bad, of our glorious days. They are all in the past.
Some people go back to understand why it didn’t work out, trying to find where it all went down, the single detail that changed everything. To find that single moment that spoiled all the fun, and find the solution that could have fixed it. Sino nga ba ang nagkamali? Sino nga ba ang may kasalanan?
Some people go back because of regret. We have some things we could have said, our apologies, and our goodbyes, some hellos maybe. We could imagine the future if we only said what we could have said. Would it have a ripple effect on our future? Magiging friends pa rin ba kami kung nag-sorry ako at hindi ako nagpadala sa pride ko? May chance bang maging kami ng crush ko kung nagkalakas ng loob lang akong mag-hello sa kanya that one time I had the chance?
Some people go back because maybe the memories are the only things they have. Memories of a former love. The one that got away, maybe. Maybe the memories are the blood that keeps that broken heart beating. Mahirap din kasing pakawalan ang isang taong minahal mo, kahit mga alaala ay mahirap ding limutin.
There are so many reasons why we go back. And sometimes, we don’t have any, we just do.
I am guilty of having supercut moments, too. It’s normal. But we shouldn’t let the past hold us back to having a future. We should not let the past be that anchor that weighs us down from sailing from the shore of life. The past is already in the past. Let these memories be the cautionary tales that guide us from doing the same mistakes again. Let them be the lessons that’ll make our lives better. Matuto naman tayo sa mga gag reels ng buhay natin.
Go back but don’t let it hold you back because at the end of the day, “it’s just a supercut of us.”