It was not like any other night, that rainy night in June when I saw you. It was 9 pm. It was darker that the usual rainy nights I’ve encountered in my 25 years of existence. The rain can’t seem to stop from spilling its cold and harsh wetness from where we were standing. We we’re in a dilapidated waiting shed. Waters were leaking everywhere. The roof with all of its holes keeps dropping stinging cold water to people who just want to find shelter from the bad weather. Even the walls can’t fight the harsh winds that blow coldness to everyone in that long forgotten shed.
Hindi na kita iibigin
Pagod na rin kasi akong ipilit
Sarili ko sa’yo at itong damdamin
Kung hindi naman kayang magsukli
Ng isang pusong batong nag-aatubili
Na magmahal ng kahit isang saglit
We are not intended to have an affair. Just an acquaintance I know you’d be. You’re not supposed to share anything about you to me nor do I to you. But time pulled us together for that moment. A moment, it was.
It’s been a long time since I remembered any dream of mine. Usually when I wake up every morning, I automatically forget what I was dreaming that very night. But this one time, it’s different.
It was vivid. The dream I can still remember very clearly.
Naaalala ko pa noong una tayong magkakilala. Umuulan noong araw na yun. At dahil hindi ako makaalis para makagala, naisipan kong magdownload ng dating and hook up application sa phone ko. Try lang.
Hindi ko naman aakalain na ikaw ang makikilala ko. Ikaw ang unang nagmessage. Isang smiley. Nagreply naman ako ng “Hello.” At yun na nga ang simula ng kwento natin.
You stopped talking to me after we had sex. I guess you only wanted to have a one night stand with me. I guess you lied when you said you liked me. You lied when you said you wanted to love me and my faults. You lied when you said you will not reject my feelings for you because you’re not like that. You lied when you said that you have a word of honor.
You promised me things. I trusted you.
You said that you’re serious. And I believed you.
I am someone who values chastity. I promised myself to remain chaste until I find the right person to do it with. I am also the type of person who don’t trust people easily because of past experiences. But for you, my common sense just went out the window. Everything I stand for, my principles and all, I dropped so that I can have you.
Ang tanga ko.
For someone who considers himself smart, when it comes to love, ang tanga ko. I gave myself to you. I trusted you. You’re a total stranger to me. Ilang araw pa lang tayong magkakilala at isang beses ko pa lang narinig ang boses mo, I already fell for you. Not just fell, I fell hard.